We are hanging out on Koh Samui, my boyfriend Manuel is nursing a heavy sunburn and I am doing nothing... and enjoying myself too! I managed to trade a book for an all time favorite: Shantaram. It is about an Australian convict who flees prison and ends up in Bombay, gets involved with the Mafia, works in a slum, etc.. Just the sort of drama I love ;-)
Anyway, as Manuel is more or less incapacitated, I had this great plan of doing a 3-day detox at this beautiful spa next to our guesthouse.
But first decided test drive this detoxing lark by doing a half day detox program:
> infrared sauna
> lymph drainage massage
> colonic irrigation
> raw food spa lunch
sounds good, or so I thought.
The sauna and massage were great. Have never had such a good massage before. But then... the colonic irrigation. what a SHOCK!
Read on, but it is a bit, hmm, well, embarrassing...!
Innocent me, I thought they would just pump me with water and then i would be free to run to the toilet. But no... this is a seriously professional spa.
They have a chair, on which you lie on your back with a hole just under your butt. They insert a straw like tube into you and pump your intestines full of water. Then you are supposed to shit everything out. How embarrassing is that?!?! Of course the waste gets sucked away and you do not smell anything, but still, not something I was bargaining for.
So I get hooked up to this machine and my belly starts swelling and swelling, full of water,... but nothing comes out! I am lying there with this tube up my arse, feeling like a stuffed turkey and AAARGH!!! nothing happens! so I have to call the woman back in (who left the room to "give you privacy to poo") and she starts massaging the water out of me. Christ I thought I would die. Then thank goodness everything kicked in and she left the room in a hurry.
Phew!!! I was so relieved that it was over, until she came back in and went: "now you rest 5 min and then you do 2nd round." "WHAT?! 2nd round of THAT?!" "oh yes," she replied. "you have to do 3 rounds." I balked and vehemently refused to go anywhere NEAR that chair again.
Manuel nearly died laughing when I dragged my sorry self back to him. It took me the better part of the afternoon to get over it... only a stiff melon martini could cure me!